Single vs Non-Single

 An old friend contacted me last night via Wechat.

Just for a catch-up kind of convo.

We were just updating each others’ stories until at one point he asked me.

“You got yourself a boyfriend now?”

I denied. Well, that’s the truth.

It was odd for someone who’s already in a relationship asking me such question.

He replied:

“It’s not healthy to stay single for a long time, you know?”

I got a bit worked up when he said that. Just as I was about to shoot him back, he sent another message:

“Don’t be like me. Stuck.”

That immediately put a huge question exclamation slash question mark above my head.

Stuck? What did he mean by STUCK?

I let him take the wheel that moment. He shared about him having trouble with his girlfriend. Telling me that he can’t stand his other half being “kiasu”, not letting him win at least once.

“But I thought that’s normal for any couple, right?”

“It’s just that I think she’s being too much. My ex-was like that too. I don’t know why most of the women that I got hooked up with are basically the same! Girls are all the same, you know!”

“Errrr...bro, do not forget. I AM A GIRL too! Question from me; why don’t you guys take a break in between. Give yourself some space to figure things out. And why do you keep ending up with the same type of women?"

Here comes Fiona the psychoanalyst. Demmit!

Again I let him do the talking. My replies for the next half an hour were NOs, YUPs, OKs and OHs.

And he summed up, he’s always UNLUCKY.

“Hey. If you think you’re the only one being the unfortunate one in this world, think again. Think of the rest billions of people out there. Everyone goes thru crappy moments in life. Even a jovial kid can be pretty grumpy when his ice-cream falls out of the cone! Blaming on your relationship won’t work much, bro.”

“But I have done so much for her! She’s still not happy. I have threatened to leave her if she continues behaving that way towards me! But she said she can’t stay without me."

“You. Got. A. Problem.”

“What’s that?”

“You are giving in. Too much. Let her taste her own medicine once in a while lah!”

“I don’t have the heart la sis...”

Now it’s my turn to shoot back.

(Smirk. Evil grin.)

“You think that’s HEALTHY for you?”

Silence. For at least ten minutes.

I was about to carry on with my sketching practice when my phone beeped.

As expected. Hah!

“I am unlucky. Very unlucky.”

“So, do you still want to be the UNLUCKY one? Like forever?”

“Of course, NO!”

“Tell you what. Let’s not make simple things more complicated, alright? You may blurt NONSENSE right to my face. But I don’t care! I used to think I am unlucky too. But those who’ve stayed with me through thick and thin, they put their faith in me, telling me I’m a fighter and I’m a strong person (flatter myself a little, c’mon lah). Knowing that I am strong, I got to find ways to at least make me appreciate a little goodness left in me. I am sure you can do it too, bro.”

“How?”

“Bro, there’s no specific manual, bro. I know there are self-help books and websites out there, but not 100 percent accurate or applicable to every person’s needs! It depends on yourself to discover what you need. People can be cheerleaders for you but you are your own engine. Like cancer cell, we all have that one thing called willpower, but I try not to make it so “pakar motivasi punya janji” lah OK. That power you have in you, you decide yourself whether to activate it or not!”

“Eshh...Malas lah!”

“See what I mean?”

“What?”

“You said MALAS. You decide it bro.”

Silence round TWO.

As I was about to put down my phone, another message came in again.

“Sis. A guy can easily nuts over you!”

That LOL moment but of course I had to let out a silent LOL. It’s almost midnight.

“OK la tu. He goes nuts kah, bananas kah, durians kah, I don’t really care. As long as he does not make my life a living hell.”

“Hope you’ll find the right one soon sis. We aren’t getting any younger now.”

Amboih, mak neneknya kau ni.

“Bro, there’s an Arabic saying. Kun fayakun. It will happen when it will. I just let things fall into places on their own timing. Don’t worry about me. There’s so much things more than just getting a life partner, bro. I may end single all my life but I tend to worry less. The journey ahead is still a mystery. Speaking of getting older, we are not Benjamin Button. But it does not mean we need to kill the inner child we’ve had all these years. That little kid inside is the reason to make a person feels happy and alive despite the age changes.”

Probably that silenced him off after he called it a night in the last text message.

At the crossroad...AGAIN!

It's been 3 years since I got home for good. Recalling the time I returned to Miri, I was pretty much a mess myself.
Yes, three years have passed. How time flies.
And so many things happened within that three years.
I must consider myself as a lucky person too, to be honest.

Nevertheless, I do feel that I am standing at that particular crossroad.
Like I used to many moons ago.
I have a permanent job and I get to do things I love most, sketching.
I am thankful many people have seen my works and glad most of them fancy them.

Again, I do feel I am standing at that crossroad.
Should I make another leap of faith?
Should I opt another roller-coaster ride?
Should I embark another adventure?

Frankly speaking, I m beginning to feel bored with the life I have now. And this is dangerous.
Very dangerous because it can hurt me and those around me.

I am unsure which path to take this time.
I am no longer young, well physically that is.
The child in me seems to be restless more than ever.
I fail to understand her ridiculous needs this time.
That child is becoming more of a rebel lately.
She keeps telling me to break the rocks ahead of us.
I am tired of telling that child to calm down.

I am standing at this crossroad now, figuring which path to choose this time. I envy those who keeps on moving to various phases  in life. Really, I am envious of such fortunate people. My lips are tightly sealed, hoping I won't simply shoot unnecessary verbal missiles. But I cannot stop my mind and heart from screaming vulgarities especially if my buttons are pushed.

This is pretty daunting and exhausting at the same time.

There are loads of people that I need to please. I am weary being the crowd/people pleaser, every single time. I guess that's why the inner child keeps knocking my head to open my eyes to all these.

Here I am...standing at the crossroad again.

Thy Mother is GREEN!

Mak kau hijau! Mak kau hijau! Mak kau hijau!

Here and there Malaysian netizens are having cursing calling respective mothers GREEN.

I did watch that one video that went viral overnight.

But I just can't seem to brain why did the little boy keep on taunting at his humongous bully "Mak kau hijau (your mother is green!)!

Was he trying to compare the bully's mother to the famous Marvel comic character Hulk?

Was he trying to say that the other boy's mummy was a salad aficionado?

Was he trying to say that the other boy's mother was born with green complexion?

Until now I fail to find the real answer to this viral catchphrase.

So only the mothers get to be green?

Fathers? 

Bapak kau merah jambu.

Nenek kau kuning.

Abang kau kelabu tahi itik.

Kakak kau takde warna langsung.

Whatever it is, it doesn't matter what colour you are. You just got to be confident.

(What in the world...?)

 

Young Love

There's this one student in my class who has this weird rather peculiar habit of standing near  our door whenever she's done with works and all. Yes it's a 15-year-old girl.

She's been doing this since February this year. Later I found out from her that her boyfriend is in the next classroom. You see, our classroom's door is partially glass (on top). 

To be honest, I thought she was only joking. You know how kids love to throw pranks at us adults.

But this one, the whole class verified her confession. She has a boyfriend who is a year younger than her.

One more thing. Every week she'd ask me this question: 

"Teacher, do you think my Adam (not his real name) is handsome?" I just smiled at her first. Not knowing what to say. So I'd reply (again and again), "He's OK lah. Cute too."

And she seems not so happy with how I reply every now and then. So in the end, I'd give in and say "OK, he's handsome".

The rest of her friends told me that once a month Adam would bake cookies for her. He even walks with her after class to a fitness centre where her mom waits for her.

I did ask her "Does your mom know that you and Adam are dating?" She said YES.

Wow! Lucky girl, I said to myself.

When I had my first boyfriend 17 years ago, I had to date discreetly. My mother wouldn't allow me to have a boyfriend at such young age. But I did have one, met him at a church camp. I didn't do the first move, of course. We dated for 7 months until one day my mother discovered about us. So she gave me two choices; break up with him or she'd drag us both to the altar. The 15-year-old me freaked out and I broke up with him. Poor lad. My mother's the ultimate villain here, don't you think?

If you ask me, what happened to my first boyfriend later on? Now he is a happily married man with two young boys. Good for him.

Recently, the head teacher (sort of, since he does all the syllabus back at my workplace) came up with a topic on the negative sides of getting involved in puppy love relationship for the students to work on; they were assigned to write a report based on that topic. I found the points given on that sheet were a bit odd. Basically, the points seemed biased. When I handed out the sheets to my students, our Juliet (not her real name) kept quiet throughout the session. The moment I announced the topic to the class, it wiped the smile off her face. I felt guilty in a way. But I had to do my job. To compensate the negative feelings that surrounded us (I think some of the kids are in their respective puppy love thing too, judging by their reactions), I gave some good sides of being in love at young age. I told them one has to be smart balancing reality and the joy of being in love. Juliet beamed out of sudden when I did that.

Just wow...

Two years and still counting.

While most Malaysians have been busy crooning the litany of woes over the newly-implemented GST since Wednesday (of all the days, they chose 1st of April, cheesecake's sake!), I realize that I have been serving this learning centre for the past two years now. I began my job as an English language tutor here in Miri on April's Fool Day in 2013.

The biggest and the best joke to date, well sort of!

In just two years I have taught many young minds who were and are in dire need of help when it comes to mastering the global lingua franca.
To be honest, I am not a professionally trained tutor/educator. I did bachelor's degree in TESL halfway before I switched to performing arts and I graduated with Diploma in Theatre from UiTM. I spent almost 4 semesters for degree in theatre later on. Nevertheless, I had a harsh brush with one of the academicians in my campus and fell sick at the same time. That prompted my decision to return to my hometown on 15th December in 2012. Without the bachelor's degree, of course.

I recall how my parents, especially my mother, pressing me to find a job here. I was jobless for three months. One March evening a couple years ago, I went out with a former classmate. She told me that a tuition centre was searching for a part-time tutor. Since English language is my forte, she asked me to try my luck. Few days later I gained the courage to call up the centre, followed by an interview and VOILA! I got the job (I began as a part-timer) the very next month.

First few months I struggled as majority of the children speak only Mandarin. I was assigned to handle Transition levels and primary school levels as well. Nevertheless, I have never had problems in trying to adapt to languages.Since then, as I try to fix their English language skills, they generously try to teach me basic Mandarin. Oh dear! I should have tried harder at mastering Mandarin back in campus years ago.

But the journey wasn't all rainbows and unicorns. I did have one big kid (a bully) in my Transition class. A real pain in the arse, I must say. Weeks by weeks, I attempted to stay calm while having to be bothered by his nerve-wrecking antics during class. Until one day, he really pushed my limit button and I broke my "cool teacher" record. I screamed at him. The result? He refused to join the class and the mother even told my boss that her son wouldn't return if I am still teaching that class. Yes, I know, classic case of TEXTBOOK sample of SPOILT BRAT. But that didn't halt me from getting a cool offer to be a permanent/full-time staff at the centre months after the incident.

2014 was quite a year for me. I got the shock of my life when one of my students fell into epileptic seizure one afternoon. I went blank when the boy collapsed and there's so much blood and saliva on the floor. How can I ever forget that incident? My student had a close brush with Death and I was so helpless.

My 31st birthday was another unforgettable experience too. One of the classes that I taught last year found out about my birth date and they set me up. Cool birthday prank, to be honest.

Now that I have entered the second year of my service as a tutor here, I am looking forward to several more years of teaching experience. And oh! I almost forgot this. I began to teach arts since last August and this year I have gained 4 students. I take it as a blessing in disguise as gazillions years ago, I did think my artistic talent was sort of a hand-down jinx. But hey! The old rules DO NOT APPLY anymore. New games of survival are flowing in. I hope to utilize my skills and knowledge as long as I live.

Utilised but Not Appreciated

Nowadays I feel that most people take me for granted. I said MOST, not ALL.

They only notice me for my abilities in certain matters. After they are done "using" me, that is it.
It's pretty sickening. As I try to distant myself from them, they always come up with requests and demands. Do I look like a machine that can just make people happy.
I am tired of dealing with all these craps.
I would love to go away again.
Leaving everything here, be gone silently.

I cannot speak out my anger.
I cannot blurt out my unwillingness.
My hands are tied.
My lips are sealed.
My legs are chained.

When will they ever realize my pain?
When will they let me soar high?
When will they leave alone?
I just do not comprehend things they have asked for.

I need my very own space to live.
Seriously.

Enough is enough.

I was doing some work when I overheard my students were talking about their mothers a couple of months ago. It turned out that they were comparing whose mom is more strict. I had to butt in their little gossip because I have expected them to finish their revision. Before I could blurt out more words to halt their conversation, one of them began telling how his mom normally treats him and stuff.
Then one by one started to share their own matriarch anecdotes with me.

I just paused and listened to them. I did share my own tales as well.

Sometimes I wonder why did God choose me to be in this world. I quote Simon Birch: "God has a plan for everyone."

Yes. But what plan? I have always asked myself that ever since.

I know that little feeling every time I was or am asked to do things against my will. Not pretty at all.

Hearing all their tales, it made me to scream within "ENOUGH!"

Just stop for a minute and look around. This world is getting sicker than ever.

Inked

Last Sunday after a brief meeting with my boss, I spontaneously (actually it was pretty abrupt) brought up something about tattoos. Since my boss shared what is going on and he related the current events with his faith (he's a devoted Christian himself), I suddenly thought of questions of having permanent tattoos among Christians. To begin with, many of my own relatives have things inked on their body. I even overheard my siblings talking about getting one or two weeks ago. My dad, another Christian devotee, pointed out that he has no problem with people getting inked for eternity but he did clarify his view based on this:

“Do not cut your bodies for the dead or put tattoo marks on yourselves. I am the LORD” (Leviticus 19:28) 

And he added later on,"...you want tattoo? Use your own money!"

Now back to my conversation with my boss that evening. He pointed out that Leviticus is in the Old Testament, years before Christ came into this world. And he quoted something from the last book in the Bible, the book of Revelation. It says:

“On his robe and on his thigh he has this name written: king of kings and lord of lords.” (Revelation 19:16)

"His" here refers to Jesus Himself. Well according to one of the blogs I'm currently reading at the moment, whereby the blogger discussed about whether or not Jesus had some writings inscribed or in other word, tattooed on his own flesh?
So I kept reading the blogger's explanation on this matter. 
Towards the end I realized that the writer himself played safe by not leaning to any side.

If it wasn't for my skin condition (I've been suffering from atopic dermatitis @ eczema since I was a toddler), I could have both of my wrists to be tattooed. Nevertheless, that idea is still idling around my head. Years ago when I watched Ayat-ayat Cinta, an Indonesian film based on a novel of the same title, I was attracted to one of the characters, Maria Girgis. Maria is a Coptic Christian Egyptian girl who happens to have a small crucifix tattoo on her left wrist.

Yes, deep down in my heart, I would like to have the similar tattoo on my left wrist. Recently I've have been missing my late paternal grandmother. She passed away 16 years ago. She embraced Catholicism roughly about ten years before her passing. She chose the name "Teresa" as her baptismal name. Now, I am thinking of inking her names on my right wrist. Names? Her birth name was Mawa.

We will see how it goes.

Recapping Two Zero Fourteen.

The world witnessed three planes from Malaysia made major headlines.

First, the still-missing Malaysia Airlines' MH370.

Followed by the ill-fated MH17.

Just more than a couple days after Christmas, Malaysians once again were shocked by the missing Airasia aircraft QZ8501 bound from Surabaya to Singapore.

South Korea earlier this year was stricken by the sunken Sewol ferry. And today a Greek vessel mishap on Italian waters.

Are we on the verge of doomsday?

Have we done too much enough to provoke God's wrath?

Political turmoils seem to emerge everywhere.

What a year we had. What a year indeed.

Loss and a little lost.

27th October 2013 tarikh tragis bagi kaum kerabat ku. Uncle Os, pak menakan ku yang paling bongsu belah kerabat mak meninggal secara mengejut. Sehari sebelum nya ninggal, arwah baruk jak sambut birthday yang ke-41. Apa sakit nya aku pun sik pasti. Cuma arwah sempat mesej yang nya demam 5 hari sebelum ya.

Ada kawan ku nanyak,"kenak ko nunggah nya arwah Fio?"

Tahun 2004, Uncle Os sah jadi seorang Muslimin. Enough said.

Malam kerabat ku dapat berita ya, aku macam "lost" kejap. Malam ya nang penuh juak rumah ku didatangi kaum kerabat yang ada di Miri.

Arwah ngan aku paling last bermesej masa birthday ku bulan 8 ya tek. Terkilan. Sebab Tahun lepas kamek duak ada "clash" kejap. Terkilan. Sebab ku sik sempat nak mintak ampun ngan cium tangan nya.

Terlambat. 

Tapi sigek, aku perlu rasa bersyukur sebab diberik peluang yang singkat untuk kenal seorang ahli kerabat yang gila-gila and happy go lucky walau dalam hati nya aku tauk arwah pendam luka yang dalam bertahun-tahun.

Winston Soji Kawi, remember me when the day the Lord decides to call me back. Capische, Big Boss?

I love you till I die, Uncle Os.

P/S: The reason I called him Uncle Os because he resembled a Malaysian comedian named Mr. Os. Otherwise I would've called him Uncle Kicap, for he was a big fan of dark, sweet soy sauce whenever he ate rice. 

Chipsmore, I am! I am BACK, baby!!

24 Julai tarikh aritok.

Lebih dari setengah tahun aku sik update blog ku tok. Busy "repair" semangat ngan dirik. Last ku ngepost nang bunyi kedak orang putus harapan. Sorry, forgive my bad manners....HELLO everyone! (Macam lah blog ku tok banyak followers...tapi current followers tetap ku hargai sebab kitak orang sudi juak follow)....yerdeh! Another visible sign of being matured - appreciating small matters katanya!

Kinek tok aku dah dekat 4 bulan bergelar tutor. True, I could not get a place in either Sarawak Arts School (Kuching) nor Tenby School here in Miri. But God really gave me the biggest (and the coolest, by far) joke to me few months back! Tepat 1 April 2013, as others busy fooling people around, I got a job as a tutor. An English Language tutor to be precise. Tempat ku ngajar is what I call "a humble, simple learning centre that functions as the beacon of hope"....yup, the long-winded me, as usual LOL! What's cool about my job is that for now I only work 2 hours (average basis) a day...and only four days in a WEEK! And, I can still pay for my car, loan and many more. Nevertheless this job that I got requires me to be extra patient. I am dealing with forty plus young ones whose language ability is totally limited. Like totally! When I first started teaching these cheerful kids, language barrier nearly drove me nuts. But as I said earlier on, patience was all I needed to be strong and stay in the game.

Four months had passed, I'm glad to say that my kids have shown positive progress. And...I've been learning wee bit Mandarin lately. In the school, I am one of the three non-Chinese academic staff. Ninety-six percent of the students who are attending our classes are Chinese. But I don't mind at all. Yang penting the kids are willing to help themselves. Not all of them are willing to come and attend extra classes, of course.

Recalling the moment when I got interviewed for the teaching job sometime end of March this year, the interviewer (my current employer) told me he's surprised upon knowing my education background. As a theatre graduate, many people expected me to end up working my butt off in arts industry. Many, not all. My mother is one of them. But I did thank Lord Jesus the moment the interviewer said "I am also looking for a person who can teach drama for children besides teaching English language here in Miri!"

Now, talking about The Law of Attraction, eh!

Yes, now I am doing just fine in this humble hometown of mine, people, I'm doing absolutely fine. Of course I do miss acting on stage every now and then but maybe the Lord is trying to tell me to utilize my artistic talents in other ways. I do, now, get the point. Plus, I've started to sketch pictures again; something that I did not get to do that much back in Shah Alam. Been posting my sketches on my Facebook wall and also Instagram. Glad to know many people like my works. Keep counting the blessings the Lord has given me is what I do on daily basis now.

About the speech and drama class, it's been announced during staff meeting last week. The class will be part of end of the year school holiday programs and I am so looking forward to meet my future young little thespians!

Maok jak rasa maok nulis panjang2, but the allergy med has taken its toll on me *darn*, should be in bed by now. I shall write again soon. Sebelum saying "bye-bye", I'll share some pics here ya!

These are my students!

My first self-portrait done by a fellow artist I met via Instagram. His name is Ahyat. You can follow him at @ahyathappydoodles

Pekabo smuo?

http://blogfiokab.blogspot.com/2012/07/lsilent-silent-potato-got-some-flesh.html

Update paling utama. Saya masih lagi single....yerdehh!! Sangat AVAILABLE, tapi buat masa tok iboh lah kitak orang ingat aku tok desperate gilak sampey aku tok nulis kedak saja mok advertise dirik dalam blog. Mun kitak orang rajin mukak link atas, silakan, it will kinda give you a much clearer picture of what happened to me few months back. As aku tengah galak menaip tok, demam selsema tengah rancak berdisko dalam badan. Bunyi kahak tek dah kedak enjin motobot rah Sungai Baram nun. Bukan ku saja nak ngeso ku tok jenis ceridak, tapi ku saja nulis sak sik pendek gilak perenggan pertama untuk post kali tok (sebab masa tengah belajar dolok, mentor ku Norzizi Zulkifli @ Kapten Joe Jambul, selalu nganok aku dalam kelas: "Fio, nang biasa ko tok mula dengan perenggan nok pendek-pendek! Tulis baru!"). Bah cukup gik ya. Mula perenggan baru gik.

Sebenarnya aku bok jak quit dari program degree kat uni tempat ku belajar. Rugi? Nang lah mun dipikir dari segi ongkos sidak bapak ku dah belanja. Banyak isu yang jadi punca ku berhenti, paling utama aku masih sik puas hati dengan seseorang di tempat aku belajar. Certain people know who is that person, tapi for you some readers out there, sik payah jak kitak orang gago mok tauk. Biarlah rahsia, bak kata Siti Nurhaliza tek nak. What's my next plan? Apa gik, BALIT MIRI lah! This time for good. Yes, FOR GOOD!! Mun kitak orang nanyak, lekak ya, apa maok dipolah ko di Miri nun? Aku boleh jak jawab," Aku akan start sigek group teater, lain dari yang lain. Giney ya kah? Haaaa...ahli produksinya terdiri daripada sekumpulan orangutan yang sungguh berbakat besar!" Stail sik mun ku sawut soalan kedak ya? (Sorry, sekpat ku muang rasa sinis mun berdepan dengan a group of skeptics tek nak.) For now, aku dah prepare application letter for Sekolah Seni Kuching and about to email Tenby International School di Miri. We'll see how things go after this.

Tulah! Dolok gago madah aku sik maok jadi cikgu sekolah (tegal ku quit program degree TESL di UiTM). Tapi nang menar lah. Mun berkhidmat di sekolah-sekolah pun, biarlah part-time instructors kah. Mun international school, lainlah. Private tek nak. Lain environment gomen ngan swasta tok. Tapi diat lok lah giney rupa gaya lekak tok.

Mun kitak orang dah mukak link kat atas ya tek, let me clarify things again. Months back, ada seorang jejaka tok berkenalan balit ngan aku via FB. Nya kawan lamak sebenarnya. After a month of contacting each other, cut short the story, alu orang ya tek luah feeling nya tek. Eh, lebiu lebiu ya bah! Aku tok tek, dah la 12 tahun "menjanda" mula-mula ya malas juak maok layan feeling nya tek. Tapi nama juak aku tok pompuan, pandey masok jerat ayat-ayat cintun org laki ya tek. So lovey-dovey mushy-wushy stuff went on for months until nya madah nyuruh balit kejap maok jumpa. Ku padah, masa Christmas jak jumpa. "Lambat gilak," sawut nya balit. Bah kompromi punya pasal, aku balit Miri 15 September tok tek. Dua minggu ku sinun, senyap jak orang ya koh. Maka nya juak lalek nyuroh ku sms mun dah sampey Miri. Sampey la suatu hari ya tek, aku klua lepak ngan sorang member ku. Cerita punya cerita..TUUPPP! Kantoi kisah orang laki ya dah ada gerek lain. Bah stail sik ya? I sent him a good-bye text dengan reminder terbaek sekali: Sik hal ko polah aku kedak tok, tapi ingat one day, hukum karma semua orang akan dapat. Thanks for nothing!" Nang useless bastardic casanova! Astagaaaa....mulut! Bah malas ku nak cerita lebih gik, cukup lah kitak orang tauk aku dah "move on" ngan hidup. Tok pun satu lesson for you guys and gals out there. Bercinta tok bukan setakat ko padah "ailebiu" or "lebiutu" (I love you and Love you too, ngek!). To build a relationship is not easy, the journey is not so easy to embark on. Just be careful, ya jak pesan ku.

And as for me, aku tutup lok "hati". Sebab malas ku nak layan jiwang manusia lain. Banyak gik benda yang belum ku explore. I don't mind going on this journey as a single person for, kewajipan pada family blom perfect gik. Hell, I gotta help my family first. Ya la, PSA dalam radio ya lalek tiap-tiap hari melalak: FAMILY FIRST!

Bah, cukup lok takat tok. Ada hari aku nulis gik. I can't wait to go back home. CHRISTMAS is just 2 weeks from now, Mak aku dah lalek masang Christmas tree nun, siap tag aku dalam Facebook. Tujuannya, tugas aku masa dah balit kelak, ngias pokok ya. Sik hal, anak buah ku Ashley dah standby nunggu mok nolong. Ciao and Blessed Advent to all!

P/S: Gambar tok di-upload Mak ku di Facebook tek. Pokok bogel. Yahh! Malu saya!

"Silent-silent the potato got some flesh"

....Diam-diam,, ubi berisi katanya..Gadis itu dalam diam dah ada yang intai. Selama ni, dia lah wanita besi (karat), dia lah hati kering, tak mudah tewas pada pujuk rayu kaum Adam. Selama 72 bulan selepas peristiwa dikecewakan oleh salah seorang keturunan nabi pertama dunia itu, gadis itu bertekad untuk "delete" maksud cinta sesama manusia dalam kepala otak dia. 72 bulan yang sebelum 72 bulan yang tadi, dia memutuskan hubungan dengan jejaka hingusan (sebab gadis itu berasa sangat tidak sesuai untuk bercinta hanya kerana gelaran "budak hingusan" turut melekat pada dahinya). Apa nak dihairankan, hubungan bawah tanah selama 7 bulan pastinya tidak ke mana. Kawalan ketat di kubu sendiri mengalahkan tentera Firaun...oh, ampun! Terbawa-bawa pula Sang Penulis.
Gadis diintai Sang Teruna melalui dunia siber. 2 tahun Sang Teruna asyik mengintai di dinding MukaBuku. Dua tahun bersamaan 24 bulan. Padahal Sang Teruna sudah mengenali Gadis semenjak zaman mula membaca huruf-huruf rumi di sekolah. Usia mereka cuma setahun bezanya. Sebumbung (satu sekolah) sehingga masing-masing tamat sekolah menengah. 12 tahun berlalu, masing-masing merantau. Mark Zuckerberg, anak Amerika berbangsa Yahudi mencipta fenomena yang dipanggil MukaBuku (sila terjemah ke Bahasa Inggeris jika rajin). Itulah jasanya, kerana fenomena itu menjadi tali penyambung hubungan Sang Teruna dan Gadis.
Bulan ketiga dalam tahun kedua belas selepas Y2K, Teruna akhirnya bersuara bertanya khabar kepada Gadis. Selang sebulan, dari MukaBuku, Sang Teruna memberanikan diri, menghulur nombor telefon kepada Gadis. Tapi Gadis lebih berani, kerana Gadis lah yang pertama sekali membuat panggilan "hangit" di tengah malam. Bila keduanya sudah bersuara, Teruna bersuara, katanya ingin melamar Gadis, tidak mahu terlepas lagi kali ini. Gadis senyap, kaget. Teruna cuma guna ayat ini: Moga Tuhan buka hati awak buat saya.
Kini, keduanya belum bersua muka, cuma bertukar gambar melalui e-mel.
Kini cuma menunggu masa untuk Gadis kembali ke kampung halaman. Teruna pula tidak sabar menanti kepulangan walau hanya untuk sementara waktu...
Ke manakah lagi arah tuju Teruna dan Gadis selepas ini?

Contengan Ketika Bosan 3: Tok Abah Kata

Tok Abah kata,
Duit upah parut kelapa
Jangan dibuat judi durjana
"Itu rezeki," katanya.

Tok Abah kata,
Kalau makan, jangan gaduh
Nanti muka makin hodoh!
Depan rezeki tak elok bercakar,
"Kau jangan ingat benda ni kelakar!"
Tok Abah marah benar
Ketika aku tersenyum lebar.

Tok Abah kata,
Kalau dia dah tak ada,
"Usahlah kau bersuka ria,
gambarku kat dinding, pandang saja matanya."
Aku terpana, tanya ku,"Kenapa?"
Tok Abah hanya senyum, macam singa.

Lima tahun Tok Abah dah pergi,
Depan gambarnya aku berdiri,
Ku pandang matanya,tiba-tiba sayu dan sunyi,
Tanpa Tok Abah, aku menyendiri,
Segala kata Tok Abah akan ku pegang
Sampai mati.

Contengan Ketika Bosan 2: Rayuan Kasanova Rookie

Adik sayang,

Ini janji Abang.

Andai laut dan pantai

Terpisah kerana badai,

Sanggup Abang satukan semula.

Adik janganlah berduka.

Adik sayang, 

Ini janji Abang.

Jika langit terbelah dua,

Akan Abang ciptakan semula

walau bercantum awan lara.

Tidak sayang,

Jangan sayang,

Tolong sayang...

Kenapa adik tinggalkan Abang?

Tiada lagi cahaya bulan terang,

Merana lagi hati yang radang.

Abangkah yang bersalah?

Abang bersumpah!

Janganlah Adik marah,

Nanti hodoh macam Kak Limah...

Contengan Ketika Bosan 1: Meroyan Bertiga

Kata kau aku gila

Kau kata aku hina

Dia kata kau pun sama

Aku kata lebih kurang saja

Aku kata kau bodoh

Kau nangis, gila hodoh

Dia gelak bunyi "hoh hoh"

Tak sedar langsung sampai terjatuh

Kau tuding jari kat aku

Aku balas dengan jari hantu

Dia hanya duduk membisu,

Apa dia fikir, Tuhan saja yang tahu

Dia jerit tiba-tiba

Aku tersentap, terbeliak mata

Kau pula terpinga-pinga

Habis? Siapa yang gila?

Kita meroyan bertiga-tiga

Meroyan sakan tak ikut masa

Cuba tanya, salah siapa?

Salah aku, kau atau dia?

Mak and Apak, I thank you and I'm sorry too

Buat Mak and Apak, anak mu ni tadi baru sambut ulang tahun yang kalian sudah sedia kala tahu ke berapa. Gembira itu semestinya, sebak, pilu itu ada juga, anakmu ini di perantauan walau bukan di negeri atas angin. Negeri lembah saja. Anak mu ni tak pandai nak susun ayat yang puitis kerana anak mu ni kurang bijak seperti anak-anak lain.

Anak mu ini juga ingin minta ampun kerana di kala usia menghampiri dekad ketiga, belum berupaya untuk memberi kesenangan yang sepatutnya, seperti anak-anak lain yang sebaya dengan anak mu ini. Sedih kan, dapat anak macam anak mu ini? Anak mu ini minta ampun tapi anak mu ini masih berusaha untuk memperjuangkan segalanya demi membalas jasa kalian melahirkan serta mendidik anak mu ini.

Selama ini kita bertiga ketawa, menangis, bertelagah..Tapi satu kalian wajib tahu, anakmu ini sangat menyayangi kalian cuma anak mu ini kurang arif bab menyatakan perasaan sayang. Hati kering lah katakan. Anak mu ini mengaku, jauh dalam hati, anak mu ini bangga menjadi waris kalian. Darah daging kalian. Hasil cinta sayang kalian. 

Anak mu ini tak berupaya berjanji untuk menjadi sempurna tetapi seperti mana pesan Apak dulu, anak mu ini akan menjauhkan diri dari segala anasir yang mampu merobek masa depan dan maruah keluarga.

Anak mu ini nak ucap terima kasih kerana melahirkan anak mu ke dunia ini.

Anak mu ini tak tau apa yang diucapkan lagi tapi akan selalu meminta ampun kerana anak mu ini kurang sempurna.

Terima kasih Mak dan Apak.

Insan yang kalian namakan dengan penuh kasih dan doa restu kalian,

F.A.Kab