Single vs Non-Single

 An old friend contacted me last night via Wechat.

Just for a catch-up kind of convo.

We were just updating each others’ stories until at one point he asked me.

“You got yourself a boyfriend now?”

I denied. Well, that’s the truth.

It was odd for someone who’s already in a relationship asking me such question.

He replied:

“It’s not healthy to stay single for a long time, you know?”

I got a bit worked up when he said that. Just as I was about to shoot him back, he sent another message:

“Don’t be like me. Stuck.”

That immediately put a huge question exclamation slash question mark above my head.

Stuck? What did he mean by STUCK?

I let him take the wheel that moment. He shared about him having trouble with his girlfriend. Telling me that he can’t stand his other half being “kiasu”, not letting him win at least once.

“But I thought that’s normal for any couple, right?”

“It’s just that I think she’s being too much. My ex-was like that too. I don’t know why most of the women that I got hooked up with are basically the same! Girls are all the same, you know!”

“Errrr...bro, do not forget. I AM A GIRL too! Question from me; why don’t you guys take a break in between. Give yourself some space to figure things out. And why do you keep ending up with the same type of women?"

Here comes Fiona the psychoanalyst. Demmit!

Again I let him do the talking. My replies for the next half an hour were NOs, YUPs, OKs and OHs.

And he summed up, he’s always UNLUCKY.

“Hey. If you think you’re the only one being the unfortunate one in this world, think again. Think of the rest billions of people out there. Everyone goes thru crappy moments in life. Even a jovial kid can be pretty grumpy when his ice-cream falls out of the cone! Blaming on your relationship won’t work much, bro.”

“But I have done so much for her! She’s still not happy. I have threatened to leave her if she continues behaving that way towards me! But she said she can’t stay without me."

“You. Got. A. Problem.”

“What’s that?”

“You are giving in. Too much. Let her taste her own medicine once in a while lah!”

“I don’t have the heart la sis...”

Now it’s my turn to shoot back.

(Smirk. Evil grin.)

“You think that’s HEALTHY for you?”

Silence. For at least ten minutes.

I was about to carry on with my sketching practice when my phone beeped.

As expected. Hah!

“I am unlucky. Very unlucky.”

“So, do you still want to be the UNLUCKY one? Like forever?”

“Of course, NO!”

“Tell you what. Let’s not make simple things more complicated, alright? You may blurt NONSENSE right to my face. But I don’t care! I used to think I am unlucky too. But those who’ve stayed with me through thick and thin, they put their faith in me, telling me I’m a fighter and I’m a strong person (flatter myself a little, c’mon lah). Knowing that I am strong, I got to find ways to at least make me appreciate a little goodness left in me. I am sure you can do it too, bro.”

“How?”

“Bro, there’s no specific manual, bro. I know there are self-help books and websites out there, but not 100 percent accurate or applicable to every person’s needs! It depends on yourself to discover what you need. People can be cheerleaders for you but you are your own engine. Like cancer cell, we all have that one thing called willpower, but I try not to make it so “pakar motivasi punya janji” lah OK. That power you have in you, you decide yourself whether to activate it or not!”

“Eshh...Malas lah!”

“See what I mean?”

“What?”

“You said MALAS. You decide it bro.”

Silence round TWO.

As I was about to put down my phone, another message came in again.

“Sis. A guy can easily nuts over you!”

That LOL moment but of course I had to let out a silent LOL. It’s almost midnight.

“OK la tu. He goes nuts kah, bananas kah, durians kah, I don’t really care. As long as he does not make my life a living hell.”

“Hope you’ll find the right one soon sis. We aren’t getting any younger now.”

Amboih, mak neneknya kau ni.

“Bro, there’s an Arabic saying. Kun fayakun. It will happen when it will. I just let things fall into places on their own timing. Don’t worry about me. There’s so much things more than just getting a life partner, bro. I may end single all my life but I tend to worry less. The journey ahead is still a mystery. Speaking of getting older, we are not Benjamin Button. But it does not mean we need to kill the inner child we’ve had all these years. That little kid inside is the reason to make a person feels happy and alive despite the age changes.”

Probably that silenced him off after he called it a night in the last text message.

Two years and still counting.

While most Malaysians have been busy crooning the litany of woes over the newly-implemented GST since Wednesday (of all the days, they chose 1st of April, cheesecake's sake!), I realize that I have been serving this learning centre for the past two years now. I began my job as an English language tutor here in Miri on April's Fool Day in 2013.

The biggest and the best joke to date, well sort of!

In just two years I have taught many young minds who were and are in dire need of help when it comes to mastering the global lingua franca.
To be honest, I am not a professionally trained tutor/educator. I did bachelor's degree in TESL halfway before I switched to performing arts and I graduated with Diploma in Theatre from UiTM. I spent almost 4 semesters for degree in theatre later on. Nevertheless, I had a harsh brush with one of the academicians in my campus and fell sick at the same time. That prompted my decision to return to my hometown on 15th December in 2012. Without the bachelor's degree, of course.

I recall how my parents, especially my mother, pressing me to find a job here. I was jobless for three months. One March evening a couple years ago, I went out with a former classmate. She told me that a tuition centre was searching for a part-time tutor. Since English language is my forte, she asked me to try my luck. Few days later I gained the courage to call up the centre, followed by an interview and VOILA! I got the job (I began as a part-timer) the very next month.

First few months I struggled as majority of the children speak only Mandarin. I was assigned to handle Transition levels and primary school levels as well. Nevertheless, I have never had problems in trying to adapt to languages.Since then, as I try to fix their English language skills, they generously try to teach me basic Mandarin. Oh dear! I should have tried harder at mastering Mandarin back in campus years ago.

But the journey wasn't all rainbows and unicorns. I did have one big kid (a bully) in my Transition class. A real pain in the arse, I must say. Weeks by weeks, I attempted to stay calm while having to be bothered by his nerve-wrecking antics during class. Until one day, he really pushed my limit button and I broke my "cool teacher" record. I screamed at him. The result? He refused to join the class and the mother even told my boss that her son wouldn't return if I am still teaching that class. Yes, I know, classic case of TEXTBOOK sample of SPOILT BRAT. But that didn't halt me from getting a cool offer to be a permanent/full-time staff at the centre months after the incident.

2014 was quite a year for me. I got the shock of my life when one of my students fell into epileptic seizure one afternoon. I went blank when the boy collapsed and there's so much blood and saliva on the floor. How can I ever forget that incident? My student had a close brush with Death and I was so helpless.

My 31st birthday was another unforgettable experience too. One of the classes that I taught last year found out about my birth date and they set me up. Cool birthday prank, to be honest.

Now that I have entered the second year of my service as a tutor here, I am looking forward to several more years of teaching experience. And oh! I almost forgot this. I began to teach arts since last August and this year I have gained 4 students. I take it as a blessing in disguise as gazillions years ago, I did think my artistic talent was sort of a hand-down jinx. But hey! The old rules DO NOT APPLY anymore. New games of survival are flowing in. I hope to utilize my skills and knowledge as long as I live.

The year of the Ram enters!

Hello everyone!
Guess it's not too late for me to wish everyone A BLESSED NEW YEAR.

I purposely did not say HAPPY because once again we were shocked with the Airasia aircraft mishap that claimed about 162 lives on board.

What a tragedy to end the year 2014. Plus, we're still saddened by the missing MH370 MAS plane and the doomed MH17 MAS aircraft bound for Kuala Lumpur from Amsterdam.

2014 was a year of tragedy, I must say. The people of South Korea were hit by the sunken Sewol ferry that got over 300 people perished in it. The Arab world was  stricken by the mad so-called terrorists ISIS or ISIL that targeted the Arab Christians.

I don't want to sound like I am a street preacher blabbing about doomsday and all but we are on the verge of the end of the world.

I may be sitting comfortably in an air-conditioned room, be it at home or at workplace. Looking at things via the mass media, I feel nothing but heartache and anger.

Politicians have become circus entertainers. Now this is not quite a new scene. It's just that the plots are getting more and more interesting....and ridiculous as well.

Where do people like us, civilians, stand now?

By the way, I do hope the ram brings in comfort to compensate what the mighty horse had done in the past year.

Hope is all I have although things may turn out vague.

Almost a year. I am back on track.

Nothing much I guess. Now that I'm blogging via 3 different sites. Crazy? Not really. I think so.
To begin with, I'll frequently blog in this site, as well as the other two blogs I've created.

What's new?
 Besides tutoring, I'm working hard to improve my drawing and sketching skills.

Will talk more later. I'm about to leave for class.

Yes, I work on weekends too. Literally I have no OFF-DAYs now, but I am not complaining too.

I have to remind myself that I need to be thankful and grateful for what I have now.

Later y'all!!